Curvy Kate: Arizona.

Hello! I haven’t felt like doing a bra review in what feels like ages. This is due to no bra fitting me right.  I was wearing 32E/F, however my bra size has changed (about 2 weeks ago) to 30FF/G and I couldn’t be happier, my bras now fit right…!

One of the first ones I brought was Curvy Kate’s Arizona in size 30FF from amazon at £9.30 for the bra and £7 for the matching thong (size 10) what a bargin, how could I not ?!
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Arizona is a slightly padded plunge bra. The material is super soft and the navy blue with the dots is so cute. The band is firm with 3 hooks.

The fit is perfect for my boobs, the band is firm which provides pleanty of uplift and omph! The cups are deep which seems to work well for me. I feel really confident in this bra.

Longleat Festival of Lights 2015.

I adore winter, always have. Something about the winter months I find romantic, perhaps beacuse i met J 6 years ago during winter. Last year my Grandparents (In Laws) gave J and I both Longleat passes. We were thrilled. The first thing we did was attend the festival of Lights as a family.

The festival of Lights is a Chinese celebration so of course the whole theme is Chinese myths/Beliefs etc.

Today J and I decided to head to it alone.. yet again I was so happy with it!

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It’s amazing. The lights, the hard work and the atmosphere. Each bit has a bit of information about lights. To learn more see:

http://www.longleat.co.uk/festivaloflight

Strugles

Truth is.. i’m having troubles with almost every aspect of my life. 

I can’t cope with work and I can’t seem to enjoy it either.

My relationship sucks. We are both on different “paths” as it were… finding it hard to trust him or even believe his is serious about us. We have faced so many obstacles in four years it’s insane! Things still are not easy for us. I don’t think it’s supose to be this hard.

Depression. I reactently came off my “happy pills” and am not adjusting as quickly as I had hoped.

I need to give myself a break i wish I could! But sadly situations have changed and I now have no space to rest!!!

Thanks x

I haven’t had acsess to my blog properly im what seems like forever!

So you can imagen my shock to see I have 28 of you amazing followers. This means the world to me. This is a safe place for me to express my darker side that noone else gets to see. You saved me xxxx

Life lessons.

Since I turned 21 (all of 3 months ago, haha!), I’ve realised a LOT of things I wish I knew when I was 16.

 

1) No matter how old I am, I will always need my parents – I have found new respect, gratitude and love for both of my parents.  They will always be there for me and I have to understand I am forever their little girl, and I’m okay with that!

2) Family and friends are THE most important things – not work, money etc.

3) Loving someone is the most scary YET amazing thing a human can experience – When I was 16, I was afraid to fall in love, I had been hurt by many men and felt falling in love was a sign of my weakness. Now I tell my partner of three years that I love him and that he’s my soul mate. I’m so glad I know what love really is now..

4) Be proud – 5 years ago I would have never imaged I could do all the things I have done, I passed college, I am holding down a job, I am filled with self confidence, I have gone to new places, done new things, I have battled depression (on-going…). I am truly proud of myself for the first time in my life. I need no one else’s approval, I am me without ANY apologies or regrets!

 

Let’s talk about Depression.

Today was meant to be a good day. The weather was nice, I have great friends, a supportive family and a loving boyfriend. My anti-depressants started 3 months ago were really working. Perfect!

Then… I went for a hearing test and discovered I had mildly lost my hearing for unsure reasons. All off a sudden I felt like my world was ending, I couldn’t stop crying, I couldn’t speak properly. Even now, three hours later I’m sat alone in this room trying not to overdose or harm myself, I thought  had broke that habit of resorting to needing to hurt myself…

You see, mental health isn’t something you get over, it’s with you for life, once you have an “episode”  you are always at risk of having another at any stage in your life. In all honesty I feel I’m coping better this time but I’m not as strong as I make out, little things set me off and it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to deal with.

WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT WHAT YOU GET WITH MENTAL HEALTH SUFFERRS. I pretend I’m better, but now even the doctors can see past my smile. I anyone else feels like I do.. get help, you’ll thank me some sunny day ❤ x

Great expectations

Lately I have been facing lots of disappointments; this has got my questioning myself. Are my standards too high that they are unreasonable? Unattainable? This is the boring bit; my expectations/standards are;

  • Be on time– If we have made the effort to make plans at least make the effort to be punctual – I am an impatient woman!
  • Be straight and upfront with me – again, I am impatient, I like straightforward people who “tell it like it is”
  • Be truthful/honest, always – pretty self explanatory.
  • Be patient with me – I need someone who can handle my crazy mood swings, understand everything I have been through in just 21 years of life.
  • Make time for me – I like to make time for my “other half” and expect it in return.
  • Appreciate me – I make an effort to look good for my “other half” ( I dont always expect this..) so It’s nice to recive compliments from the one who owns my heart.

Is this so unfair…? Thoughts please x