What the future holds

Nobody knows what the future has in store for us. We can only dream about it. And that is scarily beautiful..

But what’s so wrong about living in the now. Forget about tomorrow. What do you want to do today?!

Ok, yes I’ve been “freaking” about my future.. What’s going to happen with my boyfriend? Will we get married/have kids? If so, when?
But I’ve came to a conclusion, I shouldn’t focus my future on a relationship, instead I should focus on other achievements. This year I went abroad for the first time, I overcame a big fear (planes) and achived one of my life goals! I sat out on the balcony in Turkey at 5:30 am and cried because for the first time I felt I was on the right path, I was exactly where I was supposed to be, my life seemed to make sense. I’ve never cried like that before, so open and honest.

This has boasted my confidence up so much. I feel that I can achieve and overcome anything if I truly want to. That said. I have been thinking about applying for an online Journalism course and have found one via London school of Journaliam. I will get a diplomia in a subject that appeals to me. What do you my amazing followers think. Need your opinions 🙂

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From a photoshoot in Turkey

Michaela, xo

Staying true to myself

Today has been a difficuilt day. Work was stessful as always and i feel like i’ve barely had time to rest/relax/take it easy.

I may be 22, but I know who I am and what I want out of life. I have people in my life (that may not unserstand) who respect my lifesyle and the way I am.

When I was 16 i was drinking everyday. To this day I still don’t know why. Teenage rebillion? Boredom? To feel like an adult? To fit in? Depession?

When I was 18 i met a guy who saw through my bull. I got diganosed with depression. This was the day i knew i had to put myself first, for my mental health. I have been on/off medication to this day.

For the most part i do put myself first and I try not to over do it. But today … my mate asked me to go out friday night to drink with her. I love her. I want to have fun with her and support her lifestyle… i feel guilty everytime i say no.

I love drinking/having fun. I just do it in a different way now… i don’t drink to forget, to fit in, to pretend i’m ok when i’m not. I just enjoy the taste. Maybe i’m boring? Old before my time? Maybe I just love myself now or been in a relationship too long?

Thoughts pleasee xx

Baggage

We all have baggage, something that makes us “un lovable”. Some of us admit what our baggage is, and with pride realise it’s just part of who we are. Others hide it with shame.

I was having shall we say, a discussion with my partner about baggage. He so kindly pointed out my “flaws.” He pointed out how my past makes me fearful of bumping into anyone of my exes and how I don’t trust anymore.

What my partner fails to understand is that, although I lack in trust, I love unconditionally. I walk with my head held high because I have earned it. I respect and cherish the people in my life because they’re the ones who saved me. My self-esteem may be low but I walk and talk like the most confident woman in the world because I am a survivor. I appreciate everything beacuse I came from nothing. Now tell me how my baggage weighs me down I feel light as air..

Girls, Girls, Girls.

I am getting so tierd of seeing girls dressing and acting like they have no respect for themselves, like they are advertising a whore house. I think confidence is sexy and think every girl should love who they are, but do they really need to walk around half-naked even in winter, the only thing you’re going to get from that is a cold or an STI!

Trust me, wearing nice fitting clothes that show off your curves and only a bit of skin = sexy and classy, wearing clothes that show of every bit of skin = desperate and insecure which is not attractive. I feel that mystery also attracts people to you and  showing off all your body isn’t very mysterious now is it?

I am confident enough to wear clothes that hug my curvy figure but not show too much flesh and  still feel and know I look good ! ….Just sayin’….