What the future holds

Nobody knows what the future has in store for us. We can only dream about it. And that is scarily beautiful..

But what’s so wrong about living in the now. Forget about tomorrow. What do you want to do today?!

Ok, yes I’ve been “freaking” about my future.. What’s going to happen with my boyfriend? Will we get married/have kids? If so, when?
But I’ve came to a conclusion, I shouldn’t focus my future on a relationship, instead I should focus on other achievements. This year I went abroad for the first time, I overcame a big fear (planes) and achived one of my life goals! I sat out on the balcony in Turkey at 5:30 am and cried because for the first time I felt I was on the right path, I was exactly where I was supposed to be, my life seemed to make sense. I’ve never cried like that before, so open and honest.

This has boasted my confidence up so much. I feel that I can achieve and overcome anything if I truly want to. That said. I have been thinking about applying for an online Journalism course and have found one via London school of Journaliam. I will get a diplomia in a subject that appeals to me. What do you my amazing followers think. Need your opinions 🙂

image

From a photoshoot in Turkey

Michaela, xo

Baggage

We all have baggage, something that makes us “un lovable”. Some of us admit what our baggage is, and with pride realise it’s just part of who we are. Others hide it with shame.

I was having shall we say, a discussion with my partner about baggage. He so kindly pointed out my “flaws.” He pointed out how my past makes me fearful of bumping into anyone of my exes and how I don’t trust anymore.

What my partner fails to understand is that, although I lack in trust, I love unconditionally. I walk with my head held high because I have earned it. I respect and cherish the people in my life because they’re the ones who saved me. My self-esteem may be low but I walk and talk like the most confident woman in the world because I am a survivor. I appreciate everything beacuse I came from nothing. Now tell me how my baggage weighs me down I feel light as air..

Aside

Social media. It can be great. Or it can lead to trouble… I woke up this morning and checked facebook on my phone (joy of technology) to discover my abbusive ex had added me. This made me shake and feel sick. A few months ago I decided to confront my ex (via facebook) to help accept the abuse I suffered and get closer etc. It was helping until his current partner emailed me with all this hate. I decided to tell my ex to block me as I felt I was doing more damage than good. I hav no idea how I’m going to deal with this but know the best *revenege* is nothing… Let him see he hasn’t ruined my day/life. Thanks for reading x

Things can only get better

Fresh start

It’s been six weeks since my long-term relationship came to an
end, badly. For the first two weeks I was in agony, I had never felt that kind
of pain before and even sunk back into self-harming.

It was like a nightmare I couldn’t escape from, I kept
“begging” him to take me back as I was certain he was my soul mate,
I’d cry myself to sleep every night, there was no light at the end of the
tunnel.

Then it hit me; I’m a strong woman who will not let a man destroy me,
I deserve to let him go and move on with my life. I realised, (with help from
my girlfriends,) that he wasn’t my soul mate and I wasn’t destined to be with
him and I have now accepted that, yeah I miss his friendship and am hurt he’d
rather be single than with me after all the good times we had, after all the
effort we both put in, but I know that these feelings will fade with time.

I’m now feeling so positive about myself, about my future. I have
already started dating someone who is sweet, funny and gets on well with my
friends. Some people may think that I’m in the wrong for moving on so fast
after an eighteen month relationship, that it means I didn’t love or care for
him, however I feel ready so do not owe anyone a damn justification. I’m happy
and I’m thankful for that.

I just wish I could have dealt with the break-up better instead of
crying , self-harming, constantly asking for him back, I should have talked to
my girls about how upset I was, maybe that would have saved me a lot of heart-ache.

The art of moving on. It’s not all doom and gloom being single !

What does one do after a 14 month relationship ends?  When you feel like you’re nothing with out your other half. It’s time to move on!

Finding something that makes you happy ..

Now you have time to yourself again you can concentrate on making yourself happy; go out with friends, shop, have  a girly night in, read .. just enjoy it 😀 It’s okay to feel sad, upset and hurt, but don’t let those feelings control your life

Getting rid of those memories ….

Why keep the things that are going to remind you of your ex? … Bin em’ and move on already! Delete all the text messages, emails etc, delete their email, number, Facebook .. You’ll start to feel much better .. there’s no point dwelling on the past.

Theres plenty of fish in the sea …

You will find someone new, maybe not by next week, but overtime you will meet someone better. It’s always scary getting back on the “dating scene” especially when it feels like a lifetime since you were last single.  It’s not hard to find someone … go out with your mates, try dating websites, which ever way works best for you. Just be yourself and you bag yourself someone else before you know it!

Remeber .. it’s okay and natural “to mourn” but just don’t let being single ruin your chance of happiness..

Why so much cheating?

Splitting up is never easy to do

Have you ever noticed how much infidelity goes in the world? Its getting more and more common for couples to split up over their partners sleeping around. Its happening everywhere, even in the land of the rich and famous. I don’t see why this is becoming a popular trend. I really wish I knew what causes people to cheat on the ones they love. I’m not judging anyone who may have cheated on someone, I just believe that if there are issues in the relationship, it’s better to be open and honest with your partner about them.

When I was younger (11 years old) my dad cheated on my mum with someone younger than her. I remember her screaming, crying and my dad moving out for a month. I didn’t understand what was going on and I had noone to talk to about it. Eventually my parents worked it out and to this day are stronger for it. I just wished we didn’t have to go through all the pain he had caused.