Cotswold Spa Day!

Tuesday 19th April I was lucky enough to have my first ever spa day thanks to my kind grandparents and it was amazing !

The Spa was at Four Pillars Waterpark Hotel, Cotswold (4*).Let me say how beautiful the hotel is, and the surrounding is perfect! The spa it’s self is also so pretty and clean, I fell in love straight away. The staff were also very kind and helpful.

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I have to admit I was super nervous, I didn’t know what to expect and was worried I’d hate it. I was so wrong. Our first treatment was at 12 pm and was a Rasul Ritual which involved us covering our body in clay designed to exfoliate and soften the skin, then sitting in a steam room for 20(ish) minutes before showering it off. After the shower my skin really did feel baby soft !

Lunch was at 1pm and was delicious, I had soup, bread, olives, feta cheese, a Mediterranean inspired lunch.

2pm I had a manicure which I enjoyed, the manicurist was so friendly and very chatty which put me at ease. After this I went for a swim and enjoyed the Suna before going home.

I would so recommend this spa to everyone ! I loved it so much I’m going again in June ! The whole day felt very relaxed. My skin felt soft, my nails looked good!

Xo

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Suffication

Latĺey I’ve been feeling a huge sense of pressure to start my future.

Questions like “when are you getting/ do you want to get married/ have kids?” really throws me off. I smile and say “yes”. It is the truth. I am an infertile woman and I’ve been told IVF will need to be done by the time I am 29, 7 years from now.

When i imaged starting a family I had plans to be married first and maybe wait till we are both 35. I feel like my clock is ticking. Im 22, I shouldnt have to hear my body clock yet! It’s a very scary and lonely thing to go through even with a partner. Can any one else relate?

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Balance

Ever noticed life is just one messed up balancing act? Today has been a busy, emotional day. It’s got me thinking.about how many people I’m trying to be. 1) An employee with too much stress to handle. 2) A girlfriend dealing with realtionship issues. 3) A friend who’s trying to keep in the loop. 4) A daughter (etc) that’s trying to do right. 5) A woman learning who she is and how she wants to live. Is it any wonder I can’t sleep? Is it any wonder I’m stressed….

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Infertility

Yesterday I recieved some great news, my friend is expecting her second baby! I was jumping and screaming for joy. I am so excited for her. Then it hit me. I can’t have kids – I won’t ever be able to experience pregnacy or childbirth. I started to feel extremely sorry for myself. I understand that there are many options for me and my boyfriend (of 3 years) to become parents, but it still hurts, alot! Always feels like theres something missing. Don’t get m wrong though, I am so happy for her and am greatful to be a part of this wonderful journey. I know someday I will be a mum, just hurts it can’t be today..

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Trust me, I’m fine…!

For anyone of you who have ever suffered a mental health issue, I wonder If you can relate.. Heres the thing, you can see obvious signs of someone is strugling to deal with mental health, so you don’t talk about it. I find if someone (most often with doctors) ask me how I am, I respond “I’m great thanks for asking!”. When I was a child I was never allowed to express sadness or anger, I was known as the *smiler* as my smile never left my face, it made others happy. Now as a fully grown adult I feel guilty if I have a bad day with depression, I have to smile, laugh, take the mick out of my self to mask the pain. Noone can hear the silent screams for help. I wish I could get over this feeling of guilt. Even the doctors have told me to put my self first, me – the people pleaser… Good luck…! X