This is my first mental health post I have done in a while. It might not make sense to you. Then again … anxiety, depression doesn’t make sense. Please bare with me as it’s hard for me to post.
I’m 23. I’m walking to the doctors. The same route I use to walk to my exes house. My heart rate goes up. I can’t breathe. My eyes start to go teary. Fuck, this heat isn’t helping. Why is everyone looking at me ?!…
My body starts to shake and feels heavy. I’m 17 again. I’m isolated, alone, confused, angry. Used and abused by the same guy who claims to love me. I just want everyone to go away. I’m back to feeling the way I did when I was 17 and I hate it. I can’t stand it. Cars and people are rushing by me, but I’m not in the same world as they are. I’m disconnected, living in the past.
Im back home. I’m 23 again. I’m exhausted. I’m pushed to my limits and I’m drained. I’m wearing the scars someone else inflicted on me. I’m 23 and I’ve lived more than most. I sure it’s a blessing in disguise.