Today has been a difficuilt day. Work was stessful as always and i feel like i’ve barely had time to rest/relax/take it easy.
I may be 22, but I know who I am and what I want out of life. I have people in my life (that may not unserstand) who respect my lifesyle and the way I am.
When I was 16 i was drinking everyday. To this day I still don’t know why. Teenage rebillion? Boredom? To feel like an adult? To fit in? Depession?
When I was 18 i met a guy who saw through my bull. I got diganosed with depression. This was the day i knew i had to put myself first, for my mental health. I have been on/off medication to this day.
For the most part i do put myself first and I try not to over do it. But today … my mate asked me to go out friday night to drink with her. I love her. I want to have fun with her and support her lifestyle… i feel guilty everytime i say no.
I love drinking/having fun. I just do it in a different way now… i don’t drink to forget, to fit in, to pretend i’m ok when i’m not. I just enjoy the taste. Maybe i’m boring? Old before my time? Maybe I just love myself now or been in a relationship too long?
Thoughts pleasee xx