Today was meant to be a good day. The weather was nice, I have great friends, a supportive family and a loving boyfriend. My anti-depressants started 3 months ago were really working. Perfect!
Then… I went for a hearing test and discovered I had mildly lost my hearing for unsure reasons. All off a sudden I felt like my world was ending, I couldn’t stop crying, I couldn’t speak properly. Even now, three hours later I’m sat alone in this room trying not to overdose or harm myself, I thought had broke that habit of resorting to needing to hurt myself…
You see, mental health isn’t something you get over, it’s with you for life, once you have an “episode” you are always at risk of having another at any stage in your life. In all honesty I feel I’m coping better this time but I’m not as strong as I make out, little things set me off and it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to deal with.
WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT WHAT YOU GET WITH MENTAL HEALTH SUFFERRS. I pretend I’m better, but now even the doctors can see past my smile. I anyone else feels like I do.. get help, you’ll thank me some sunny day ❤ x